The BIG News
by My Dad is Mr.Clean
Summary: A yaoi crazed news reporter tries to prove that our favorite tennis boys are gay. [Lots and lots of pairings]
1. Mission 1: Botox and Fans

I've been dead for 2 days or so. Sorry about that :D I was busy.

School starts tomorrow...so I have to write as much as I can today...which is going to be hard cause I get SO distracted :D

This was a random brainfart I had when I was supposed to be sleeping. I hope you like it! Your welcome to flame me if it sucks.

* * *

"Inoue did something similar last week!" the editor-in-chief yelled slamming the papers down, "We don't need repeats!"

"B-But! This was in a different light!" a girl said.

"No it isn't! If we print this, our sales will pummel into the ground!"

"But this is true!"

"Trying to prove that the young up-coming tennis players of Japan are gay is pointless!"

"No it isn't!"

The editor-in-chief rubbed his temples, "Look. Just because your interested in..._boy-love_ doesn't mean the rest of Japan is!"

"B-But!"

"Good day Ishiwara!" he said showing her the door. She grudgingly took her leave.

Ishiwara Ayu of Pro Tennis Weekly wasn't having a good day. Having yet another report booted, there wasn't really a reason to be happy anyways. She was often called "The Failure" by her fellow coworkers and was often told that she was worse Shiba. Which was pretty low. She walked to her desk and flopped down onto her chair. Sighing, she lazily picked up the report that was rejected. She stood up..

She quickly grabbed her camera and her recorder. She felt that she had to at least do this.

HYOUTEIHYOUTEIHYOUTEIHYOUTEI

"Have I ever kissed anyone?" Shishido was looking at Ayu as if she was a chicken flying without a head. "Yes. _Why_?"

"Who?" she asked ignoring the question.

"Ummm..." Shishido turned a slight pink. "Well...you see..."

"Here! Say it into the recorder nice and loud!" she thrusted the recorder into Shishido's face narrowly missing nose.

"Why do I have to do this?"

"It's something that's really important!" she announced. If she could she would have birds fly around her. "It's going to change tennis!"

"In a good way or a bad why?" Gakuto asked popping out of nowhere.

She thought. "A good way?" she tried.

"Okay!" Gakuto patted Shishido on the back. "Tell!"

"Hell no!" Shishido said batting away Gakuto's hand. "That's just embarrassing!"

"So?"

"It's _my_ private life as to who I kissed! It's not for Japan to know!"

"Oh please. It's not a secret. _Everyone_ knows that make out with Ohtori in the clubhouse when everyone's gone!"

Shishido turned purple. "EVERYONE ALSO KNOWS THAT OSHITARI AND YOU SLEEP TOGETHER EVERY WEEKEND!"

"NO THEY DON'T!"

"WELL NOW THEY DO BECAUSE I JUST SHOUTED THAT OUT!!"

Ayu sniffed, Yaoi was the best ever...thankfully her recorder managed to catch all this. She quickly rushed over to Atobe who was currently giving his speech to the first years over his awesomeness.

"Excuse me. Atobe-kun?"

"Ah. A fan." Atobe brushed aside his hair letting sparklies show. "Just a moment first years."

"I'm from Pro Tennis Weekly. Ishiwara Ayu. I just wanted to ask you a few questions."

"About?"

"Your..._orientation_..."

Atobe sighed. "Okay okay, Ore-sama admits it. He did go out with Sanada Genichirou of Rikkai."

She almost dropped her recorder. "YOU WHAT?!"

"...Go out with Sanada Genichirou..." Atobe was starting to get freaked out by this crazy woman.

She spazzed. Her dream was coming true! There WAS boy love in tennis! It took her a moment to get her breath.

"Excuse me?" Atobe said starting to look offended.

"Sorry. Sorry. Just that I managed to prove something..."

"So your not a fan?"

"No."

"...Who are you again?"

"...Ishiwara Ayu of Pro Tennis Weekly..."

"So you're a fan."

"No."

Atobe looked confused. "Your not a fan?"

"No." she was starting to get annoyed.

"You look young though...unless..."Atobe lookedhorrified. "You use Botox!"

"No..." she said twitching. "I'm 18..."

"..." Atobe contemplated this.

She took this as an opportunity to leave. For St. Rudolph.

* * *

And here was the first chapter. I think I'm losing my touch more than I imagined. This is bad...::runs around like a maniac screaming:: 


	2. Mission 2: My Brother?

ahhh...TT-TT It feels good to update stories that have been neglected...

THANK YOU TO THOSE PEOPLE WHO LOVED THIS STORY SO FAR:D you make me very happy...

* * *

"...You think I'm gay because I wear purple?" Mizuki asked looking at Ayu as if she was the weirdest thing ever. (Which she probably was.)

"Don't you like Fuji Yuuta?" Ayu asked ignoring the question.

"..." Mizuki turned into a light pink shade.

"...I'm waiting for an answer you know..."

"...No I don't." Mizuki choked out.

Ayu raised an eyebrow.

"Don't give me that look."

"Are you sure?"

"...Yes."

"Really now?"

Mizuki was starting to get irritated. "Yes..."

"So if I walk up to Yuuta right now he's going to say that you never kissed him?"

Mizuki lost it. "HOW DID YOU KNOW?!"

"I went to him before I asked you."

"..."

"DUH!"

Just then Akazawa came into the picture. "Mizuki...we're done with our training regimen..."

"Ah! You're Akazawa aren't you?"

"...Yes I am..."

"Good I have to ask you a few questions!" and she forced him to sit down. Behind her was Mizuki motioning to Akazawa not to answer. Akazawa just looked confused.

"So..." Ayu said setting a business-like tone. "I heard your interested in someone is that true?

"...I am?" Akazawa looked confused.

"Come on! Don't pretend you don't know!"

"...I really don't know..."

"Do you like someone?"

"...Do I have to answer that?" Akazawa said looking embarrassed.

"You have to."

"Why?"

"I have to prove something to the world."

"Which is?" Mizuki asked.

"It's none of your business." Ayu said looking away.

"What?! Why?"

"Because you didn't want to answer any of my questions."

"Oh. Be like that then." Mizuki then looked away and crossed his arms.

"...Mizuki..." Akazawa said uncertainly.

"Anyways..." Ayu interrupted. "Don't you like someone from Rikkaidai?"

"I do?" Akazawa said looking surprised.

"Don't you?" she tried. Is this boy straight?

"Not to my memory no..." Akazawa said after sometime.

"..."

"Wait?" Akazawa said perking up. "Do you mean Jackal Kuwabara?"

"No I meant Sanada Genichirou."

"Oh..."

"No! I was being sarcastic..."

"Ahhh..."

"So what happened between you two?"

"It's a mistake really...we just bumped into each other and decided to practice tennis together and then we had had lunch together."

"...Suure..." Ayu said rolling her eyes. Just then Yuuta ran into the trio.

"Mizuki-san. Are you ready for our date tonight with aniki?"

"..." Mizuki did a facepalm. "Yuuta...you were supposed to be keeping it a secret!"

Ayu put Mizuki into a headlock. "And you lied about it!"

"Please...let go of me..."

"You knucklehead!" Ayu said going insane.

"Akazawa! Yuuta-kun!"

"Oh no! Mizuki-san!"

Akazawa attempted to pry Mizuki's head from Ayu's vicegrip-like arm. Which failed.

"YOU LIED TO ME?!"

"..." Mizuki flailed.

Akazawa decided to go to drastic measures. Sadly...He quickly called up 'Jackal' In a loud voice he said, "Hey! Jackal you want to go on a date tonight?...You want to?...I'll see you there!!" Akazawa mentally hit himself in the head. The things he had to do as captain...

Ayu quickly let go of Mizuki's head. "OMIGOSH DID YOU REALLY ASK HIM OUT?!"

"...Yes..." he lied. "...He was screaming with delight..."

"OMIGOSH! CAN I COME WITH YOU?!"

"...N-no! It's private!"

Ayu nudged him. "Planning to do some private things?"

"...?" Akazawa was taken aback.

"I mean..." she said with a devilish smile and gleaming eyes. "Are you planning to go further than holding hands?"

"...No..." Akazawa was really sure that this woman needed to go to an insane asylum.

"Aww..." she said punching his arm. "Your shy aren't you?"

"...Ow..." Akazawa said rubbing his arm.

As if the situation couldn't get any worse, Atsushi Kizarazu and Yanagizawa Shinya showed up. Joy...more torture for St. Rudolph.

"Ah!" Ayu exclaimed forgetting about Akazawa. "Kizarazu Atsushi-kun! Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?"

"...Sure?" he said looking at Akazawa's and Mizuki's frantic expressions but ignoring it.

"Dane. Who are you dane?" Yanagisawa said trying to look cool. But it was failing.

In her mind Ayu shuddered at Yanagisawa. But quickly putting that aside, she asked, "Do you feel any deep connections with your brother besides brotherly love?"

"Eh?"

"Do you feel like you like him in some other way?"

"...No..."

"...Are you kidding me?" In her head she was crying that she could not witness incest. Oh the pain...her head cried.

"…No…"

She narrowed her eyes. "Really now?"

"Uh… really?"

"No… other things besides brotherly love?"

"Not really?"

Oh boo, no incest! "Do you like anyone?"

"…Does brotherly love count?"

"…So… you love your brother as in family, right? Do you like ANYONE else besides him?"

"…My mom and dad."

This boy apparently has no love sense or St. Rudolph are just filled with dumb people. Ayu couldn't tell due to the fact that Kisarazu Atsushi was so plain with answers. "Anyone else?"

"My brother?"

"Aha! So you do love your brother!" Yes, he cracked! Oh the lovable incest is here!! She'll show the world! Ha!

"…Umm… sure." Atsushi was almost persistent to get away from the reporter.

"Dane. I like…"

"Let's just go." Atsushi said, pulling Yanagisawa away before he could answer.

"Oi wait, dane! I need to answer dane!"

"We are MISSING practice, which means more practice tomorrow which means, I can't see Ryou tomorrow!"

"Aha! So you DO love Kisarazu Ryou!" Ayu yelled.

So far so good...everything was going as she hoped...to Rikkaidai now...


	3. Mission 3: The Killer and the Idiot

Demon Brat helped me out a lot with this fic...THANK HER!! XDD

* * *

"Can you tell me where the tennis courts are?" Ayu asked first year.

"Uhh...I think its over there." He pointed to a bunch of trees. "Past those trees."

"Thanks!" she quickly ruffled his hair and ran her merry way.

"..." the boy quickly tried to fix his hair. "Fangirls..." he muttered.

ABSOLUTEKINGSABSOLUTEKINGS

"So...Yukimura-kun..." Ayu asked. "Do you have any special feelings for anyone on this team?"

"...Do you mean like friendship? Or like brotherly love?"

"Umm...something more...passionate than that." Ayu said trying to find the right words.

"..." Yukimura glanced at Kirihara and Sanada and the rest of his team. "No...not really...but I do think of Akaya as an affectionate younger brother."

"Really now?" Ayu asked.

"Yes really."

By now Sanada was about to blow his top off. Who was this crazy woman trying to pry information out of his beloved leader?

"Yukimura...I think we should resume practice."

"Genichirou. It's okay...we can donate 5 minutes of our life to her."

"But Yukimura!"

"Now, now..."

And Sanada knew it was useless to keep arguing. He was just going to have to put up this crazy beast.

"Ah! Sanada-kun! How about I ask you a few questions?"

"Oh God..."

"Okay..."

"..."

"Do YOU like anyone?"

"...No I do not..."

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"...Yes..." Sanada grumbled.

"Well..." she said. "Someone told me that you went on a date with them..."

Sanada looked horrified. "Keigo told you?!"

Ayu smiled triumphantly. "Yes he did."

Sanada looked like he was about to kill something.

"So...what did you two do?"

"..."

She looked at him expectantly.

"Genichirou..." Yukimura said.

"...Fine..." Sanada muttered. "We basically...had a dinner at some fancy restaurant..."

"There's more right?"

"...No..."

"Are you sure?"

"..Yes..." Sanada said clenching and unclenching his fist.

Ayu being the idiot she was, didn't notice but pressed on. "Are you sure?"

Before Sanada could do anything, Yukimura interrupted.

"That's it I'm afraid..." Yukimura smiled.

"Ahh...I see..." Ayu said mesmerized by his smile. "Can...I ask someone else...?"

"Oh sure." Yukimura smiled even more. "Ask all of them."

"Tha-Thank you..." Ayu said breathlessly. Did Yukimura enjoy torturing her this much?

"Ma-Marui-kun...if you could..."

Bubblegum pop. "Are you okay?"

"Just fine..." Ayu had a foolish grin plastered across her face.

"Probably the after effects of buchou's smile." Jackal whispered.

"Yeah, that happens a lot…" Marui whispered back.

"I have a few questions to ask you, Marui-kun…" Ayu said.

"Ask away, I guess."

"Ok, do you like anyone?" She asked.

Marui thought reaaaaal long and hard about it, then he replied, "…I don't know?"

"Really?"

"Yes, nothing I can think of."

"Hey Marui, someone's here to see you." Niou snickered.

"Oh, who?" Marui asked.

"MARRRUUIIII-KUUUUNNNNN!!!!! I MISSED YOU A LOT!!!!"

"Oh crud…" Marui muttered.

Jiroh ran as fast as he could and tackle-glomped our dear tensai. Ayu watched in glee that she was there to witness all of this. Good thing she had a secret camera recording all of this. Yes, she is going to make MILLIONS and finally YAOI would be acknowledged!!

"I ALSO BROUGHT SOME POCKY TOO!… But I smashed them so I just ate them!!"

"HELPPPPP!!!!" Marui cried. "I CAN'T BREATHE!!!"

"Well, you need to breathe if you shout, so you CAN breathe." Jackal stated.

"I don't need to ask anymore questions anymore, Marui-kun!" Ayu said happily and made her way to one of the courts.

"So, Kirihara-kun, do you like anyone? Anyone at all!"

"…I like my parents, why?" Kirihara asked with the most innocent aura anyone could find, yes, even more innocent than Dan, Ryoma, and all those other people. We all know Kirihara is a demon, but you KNOW inside he's this little ball of fluff.

"That's cute, but I'm asking if you like anyone outside your family."

"I like the sushi man because he gives me free sushi!"

"No, I mean anyone you _LIKE_."

"Do I get free sushi for this?"

Ayu thought about it, "…Yes." She lied, after all, he's just a kid, how hard can he be to trick?

"Eto… I like…" Before his sentence ended, someone cried, "Lucky!"

Ayu turned around to see not a Rikkaidaiian (yes, Rikkaidaian, person from Rikkai) but a Yamabuki boy. She immediately recognized him as Yamabuki's Sengoku.

"Sengoku-san!" Kirihara exclaimed, "You're not supposed to be here!!"

"Awww, but I missed you…" Sengoku said.

Ayu gasped, could this be? More boys love? She MUST be in heaven! If she is dreaming, DON'T WAKE HER UP! She got her recorder out and switched it to "record."

"But you're not supposed to be here!" Kirihara cried. "Get out!" He pushed the older boy out the courts.

Ayu by this point was emotionally unstable. But she pressed on. She eventually found Jackal, Renji, Niou, and Yagyuu practicing.

"Hello!" Ayu said happily. "Might I asked you four a few questions?"

"...Sure?" Jackal said apprehensively.

"Good!" she secretly got out her secret camera and recorder.

"90 percent chance you want to ask about our love lives and 10 percent chance you're going to ask how we feel about the latest tournament." Renji said.

"Must you have such good data sense?!" Ayu asked angrily.

"Yes...I must..."

"The questions?" Yagyuu asked.

"Ahh! Yagyuu-kun! Would you mind going first?"

"...Sure?"

"Do you have any special feelings for anyone?"

"...My younger sister?"

"As in...romantic love?"

"...You're here to ask if I love Masaharu-kun with a maddening, burning passion aren't you?"

"Yes..."

Niou stepped in. "Of course he does. Right Hiroshi?" he smirked.

Yagyuu straightened his glasses. "Masaharu-kun...there are some things I would like to say without you having to interrupt them."

"Sorry Hiroshi."

Even though the secret camera was rolling, she still wrote it down on her notepad. She turned to Jackal.

"Akazawa-kun told me you two had a special night together..." she said. "Care to clarify?" What a lie.

"...We didn't do anything really..." Jackal said. "We just met, had a quick lunch and practiced tennis together."

"But he asked you out remember?"

"He did?" Jackal blushed.

"Of course! Tonight!!"

"Really?"

She nodded.

"...He didn't ask me out.."

Ayu sighed. She just took it that Jackal had short-term memory loss. She finally turned to Renji. Rikkai's data master.

"Soo...Yanagi-kun...tell me...how are you an Inui of Seigaku doing?"

"...Fine..."

"Do you two keep in contact?"

"Occasionally..."

"What do you do on those occasions?"

"Talk about data, what else could we do?"

"Oh, I think lots…"

"100 percent that you are thinking of something very perverted…" Yanagi said under his breath.

"How dare you!" She exclaimed, "I wasn't thinking of anything like that!"

"You were imagining Sadaharu and I in something that we would never do, aren't you?"

"…Maybe."

"Yanagi-sempai, she's a total fangirl!" Akaya exclaimed. "I can tell because I'm so awesome!"

Yanagi pat Akaya on the head, "Leave the grownups to talk, Akaya, go back to practice."

"…You act like my mom."

"No Akaya, that's Genichirou's job." Yanagi answered. He faced Ayu, "If there's nothing else, please excuse me. I have more formulas to improve (so I can be better than Sadaharu…)."

Renji stood up and walked away. Leaving Ayu stunned.

"..." she stood up and decided to leave the courts.

Of course Sanada was fed up with Ayu. So he decided to take matters into his own hands.

Thankfully Yukimura went to the bathroom.

Ayu was skipping across the courts like a happy child when she saw a figure in the distance holding something very shiny and long.

She walked up to it.

Was she ever surprised.

It was Sanada in his kendo glory holding a sword. A sharp, metal, pointy, an I-can-kill-you-in-one-strike sword.

Ayu being her idiot self, didn't realize Sanada was like that to kill her but she thought that he was being a piece of decoration.

"Nice uniform Sanada!" she waved at him.

The sword came down in a heartbeat blocked her path.

"Ehh?"

"If you ever come close to these grounds again, I WILL kill you." Sanada said growling.

Now she wasn't so stupid. Since the sword was up to her throat she had no choice but to run the other way screaming like some stupid psychopath.

Which she was.

As Yukimura came out of the bathroom, he was surprised to see a screaming Ayu pass by him in a heartbeat.

"Did something happen Renji?"

"Not that I know of." But he secretly did.

Ayu ran to Fudomine.

* * *

I have only two things to say... 

One- I wish Masa would marry me...

and two- I really hate Fuji and Seigaku

'nuff said.


End file.
